Is there anyone who doesn’t love weekends? No one in my imagination. But I know few who love it more than most others, wait for it since Monday and sometimes 2 weeks in a row. Do you know WHY? As their parents live apart, not because they are separated but due to job profiles.
There is a young couple with 2 kids (almost 8 years boy and 3 years girl) living at a distance of 5 hours. Unfortunately, schools are closed, so kids stay mostly at home except spending 5 and 2 hours in the stadium for boys and girls respectively. And that’s the only time, they don’t miss or talk about their father.
Unlike the boy, the girl is not mature enough to understand the scenario. She repeats the same set of questions, N number of times in a day and in the exact same sequence - “Which day is today? Is it not Saturday? When will Saturday come? Will Papa come only on Saturday? I am missing Papa very much,” with absolute innocence on her face, disappointment in voice and hope in accent. And she makes a particular face while saying the last line (as she is the queen of expressions) so that anyone can have pity on her.
The girl wants him to ride on, throw her in the air and catch, again and again, spend a whole day in the central park; climbing on trees and make her jump repeatedly, buy all the junk food items, watch cartoons on mobile, to show all the unnecessary tantrums, water the plants till root rot, get a massage done for as long as she wants and to listen to the stories that her mother reads for her at least 3 times a day while feeding and until she (mother) is fed up and refused to do so.
The boy needs a father for entirely different stuff. He wants to understand all about computers, the universe, mechanism of action for satellites; rockets; airplanes, and helicopters, how the apps are developed, internet works, electricity travels, machines function, and so on (in short, the topics of least interest for his mother). He also needs him to fight with, watch his table tennis game, appreciate him for his efforts, run along with him, play badminton, fly kites and learn cycling.
Being a mother, the females are trained to make them fool, divert their attention, answer with patience and love them a little more to satisfy their souls. But she is also a working person with responsibilities other than managing home, kids, family, relatives, friends, and HERSELF. So at times, she also gets irritated, frustrated, disappointed, and angry. These are the times when everyone suffers shortly but she suffers more with a residual feeling of guilt in her thoughts.
She misses him all the time but most when needs to change the gas cylinder or lights, has to finish leftover food, kids demand water at midnight (especially in winters, as it needs to be lukewarm), cooks biryani, attends a social gathering alone, declines late-night stay out, wants a long drive on rainy days, accompany kids to the stadium when she wants to sleep a little more, needs to switch off the light before going to bed and to hold her hand when not feeling well. Sometimes, silly fights are stretched unusually long due to communication gaps and long-distance relationships but then they also enjoy each other’s company to a greater extent.
They were not prepared for family life in pieces, on weekends and anything like this. It took her 8 years to get used to this life where she now has to work for 5 and ½ days in a row, non-stop, from 5:30 am to 7:00 pm, and then rest for 36-48 hours. She uses the latter as ‘ME’ time, mostly to fulfill her BUCKET LIST. It seems so easy to say/read it in a few lines but difficult to live in hours and days and weeks. There are bouts of frustration, peaks of disappointment, fear of failure, and episodes of anger. She cries alone and consoles herself wipes the tears and stays strong. Over time, she has learned a lot, from seeking help from someone or anyone to smiling inside when people sympathize and to keep quiet, rather than to appreciate their concern. Also, she has set her boundaries, had to decide to refuse long-term commitments at the workplace, decreased her visits to friends and relatives, and follow a fixed routine that most people call boring. Now she knows, it’s best to prioritize the stuff. Moreover, she keeps reminding herself ‘Is there any professional success that can justify your failure in the family’? She knows NONE.
The man of the house has a higher emotional quotient. He feels guilty about missing his children’s milestones and daily activities, so tries his best in every possible way to keep kids busy and free when at home. Starting from preparing breakfast to tucking them to bed, he is a perfect father. He does the stuff out of his comfort zone to make his family happy. Even after being available lesser than their mother, he has successfully made himself their (kids) favorite and IDEAL too.
In one way, it’s not a big deal. With some management skills, work distribution, prioritization, and patience, everything is possible. Although it’s a different matter that birthdays, anniversaries and other memorable dates are never celebrated on the same day, they either are preponed or postponed as per weekends, jumping is done not from tree to ground but from one step to another, her brother reads for her when the mother is fed up, many questions are either answered via google or postponed till further meeting or he calls his mamaji for instant answers, the mother is used to sleep in bright light, videos are made and shared frequently so that father doesn’t miss a lot and when father visits, he does more than he can to compensate.
If it gives you the pleasure to see their surprisingly happy faces when they find Papa sleeping with them (when he arrives late at night after kids fell asleep), it also gives you the pain when they cry with the thought of being unable to say adios (when he leaves in early morning hours).
Their weekends come after a long waiting period but pass very fast. Each of them tries hard to make every moment countable. They visit the park with food and games. He does whatever kids want. And she sits contentedly under a tree, holding her camera and clicking the three most important faces of her life in one frame, collecting memories and trying to deliver a future message to her kids that their father was with them as much as she was.
So that’s the life of a usually happy family on weekends, video calls and vacations!
There must be genuine reasons to choose a life like this, otherwise, who doesn’t want to live with a husband like him; full of LOVE and LIFE.